Read Time: 11 minutes Say you were starting a sentient species from scratch–like, say in a videogame–and you wanted to set one gender of the species up to be practically...
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Read Time: 5 minutes Is there anything worse than someone who can’t laugh at themselves? Well, okay. Yes there is. There’s cancer, genocide, and people who wait to decide on...
Read Time: 10 minutes A couple of months ago, I went to a Backstreet Boys concert. Shut up. I was pulled into it by a friend group. And okay, I...
Read Time: 8 minutes When you read what I’m about to say, your first thought will probably be something like, “Oh fuck you, Will. Eat every dick in the world...
Read Time: 8 minutes Mindfulness sounds a little bullshitty, doesn’t it? It sounds like one of those made up self-help buzzwords like “goodful” or “dynamosity” that makes you feel like...
Read Time: 5 minutes Perfection is the ultimate pursuit. If we constantly chase perfection, that means we’re constantly looking to improve, and that’s the best thing ever. So...
Read Time: 6 minutes We all feel afraid sometimes. Or, if you’re like me, you can replace “sometimes” with: “when confronted by anyone about anything.” “in loud places.” “nearly constantly.”...
Read Time: 8 minutes Dear Fellow Hermits, Before I get into this, let me start by assuring you that I am in fact one of you. I...
Read Time: 9 minutes In the event that I ever accidentally give off the impression that I’ve got life figured out, keep in mind that I spent most of the...
Read Time: 7 minutes For almost all of my teen years, I had the following quote written on a dry-erase board in my room. “The highest courage in life is to dare...