By 
After years of contemplation, nine different Excel documents, and taking a vote from my friends and family, I’ve finally realized what the worst thing about me is: I write to inspire action without taking any.
For the love of God, please don’t be one of these people that does this. Don’t be a me. Don’t be one of these people who complains about gas prices without ever 1) supporting policy to lower our reliance on oil, or 2) trading in your Hummer for a Corolla, or 3) relearning how to walk two blocks to the post office, you repugnant sloth.
Don’t bitch and do nothing. That just makes you the biggest douche ever (well, tied with the other 7 billion people like you), and you can be better than this. You can be better than me.
Unless we have plans to stop gargling up the planet’s water, scarfing down the world’s corn syrup, and farting our toxins into what everybody has to breathe, we should all try to improve the state of things. If we don’t, we’re all a net negative on humanity, and logically, we should be fed to starving villagers.
Why We Do Nothing
Most of us do nothing to change anything because we feel like nothing ever changes. No matter how many rallies, or dinner table yelling matches take place, the banks are still evil, women are still seen as objects, and Aunt Ruth is still a racist old bitch.
The world is as it is.
Except, well, it’s not. Change does happen. It really does! Look at us now compared to a century ago. Science is mostly seen as something to listen to (instead of the word of Satan), women are way the fuck better off, and eating the local produce is way less likely to end in you shitting out a kidney and bleeding out your eyes.
That’s not to say that these things are awesome now. They’re not close. We still have a hilarious amount of work to do. But they’re way, way, way the fuck better, and it’s because people believed they could be.
Change does happen. It’s just annoyingly slow. For instance, people tend to think of gay acceptance as happening in the last 15 years, but it hasn’t. It’s been incremental over many, many generations.
Centuries ago, an uppity woman could be considered a witch and burned at the stake. Now she’s just called a bitch and not burned at all unless it’s in a shitty country! Progress!
In 150 years, we went from enslaving black people, to making them pee elsewhere, to mostly just kind of being pricks to them! Progress!
If Bruce had become Caitlyn 50 years ago, she would have been hate crimed like a million times. 25 years ago, most of us would have at least called her a gross weirdo. But she waited until now, and most people are like, “You go girl! Hatchet that thing off and work it!” Progress!
These are all examples of very slow, but very real change, and we can make it happen. We just have to alter our perspectives.
Be The Drop in the Bucket
But you don’t even try, because you feel powerless in this endless universe. You think, “Well I’m not Abe fucking Lincoln here. I can’t do anything.” You feel like you’re a miniscule drop in a massive bucket.
And you’re right. You’re not Abe Lincoln. You are a drop in the bucket. But maybe being a drop in the bucket isn’t so bad.
Run with me on this: Imagine that every problem in the world is a Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz.
So there’s a Wicked Witch of Terrorism, a Wicked Witch of AIDS, a Wicked Witch of Selfie Sticks–every problem you can imagine has its own witch. And they’re flying around, fucking shit up. They murder, they rape, they reflect the sun into your eyes. They lead to broken dreams, broken bones, and broken condoms. They’re just the worst.
So how do we take these witches down? Lots of buckets of water. And do you know what’s in these buckets? Millions and millions of little, nearly insignificant drops. And there we are.
Dorothy needed the drops. Everyone needs the drops. History’s major changes happened because of the drops. Because millions of kids tried to get their parents to accept their gay friends, or gay selves. Because a shit ton of women’s groups popped up at once, and were like “You know we should at least be allowed to vote.” Because it wasn’t, “The like…40 dudes and I think 16 ladies march.”
So fuck it. Be the drop in the bucket.
Any attempt you make at changing major world problems will do almost nothing. But it’s the “almost” that is key. 100 million people trying really hard to ultimately accomplish “almost nothing” is enough to do something. So every vote you have, everything you can choose to buy or not buy, every time you can get somebody to even begin to see things differently–those are worth pursuing. We are all the ocean banging against a giant rocky cliff, turning it to sand.
It sucks for the gay baby boomers, and 14th century priests who wanted to not have a penis, but that’s what this takes. It takes knowing that the change you seek to make may not happen in your lifetime. And if you’re the victim of the shitty state of things, that may just be your life. But think of the impact you can make. You can help make it so that some future gay dude, or lady, or Liberian child doesn’t have to put up with the same shit you did. And if you do that, your life will have been worth it.
If we all have this attitude, then more of us will try to do something, and if more of us try to do something, change will happen more quickly.
So buck up, everyone. One person usually can’t make a difference, but they can contribute a teeny tiny bit towards making a difference, and guess what? That’s making a difference!
So go on, you almost-nothing, molecule of humanity. Do your part.
*Drawings by Blake Larson, graphics by Mike Hollenbeck
